1 foot, 2 feet,... how many more to go? None.

Open mouth, insert foot.  It seems to a common saying around me these days.  My words get me into trouble.  Even when I think about what I say, it seems that my tone is such that they are taken wrong, or if it is written, that it is instantly a bad thing.  I can't seem to get two words out without one of them coming back to bite me in the bum.  Earlier this year I had a relationship end.  It was very hard for me because I was very attached to her.  Even to this day I think she has had a lasting impact.  We decided that we would try to stay friends because we still loved hanging out with one another and could still benefit from being friends.

Well, I guess this changed.  A couple of days ago I posted something that took me a long time to come to grips with.  I did some deep soul searching and wrote about what I found.  Sadly, all was not well received.  My ex decided that my wording was very offensive and decided to let me know about it.  I hope that my words have not ruined a friendship that was very beneficial. 

To this end I have decided to limit my postings on my blog.  I will no longer be posting anything personal, and you will probably not be seeing a rant on here for a long time.  I will continue to post songs and I will try to post writings from time to time.  If this does not go well, or I simply do not have time, I may be shutting down the blog for good.  Sadly this pushes my blog into a realm of disconnectedness and coldness that I would have rather avoided. 

It is so hard these days to say what you think and not get hurt for it.  I don't have a close friend that I can tell all these things to.  Many of my friends are connected with the people that are threatening me.  So far I have received threats of bodily harm, economic harm, mental repercussions, and even a few death threats.  Words have power.  I just wish people would talk instead of having knee-jerk reactions to everything that is said.

In short, I am sorry if anything I have said is offensive to any of my readers.  I never meant for it to be taken that way. I only hope that things can be repaired. 

With a heavy heart and lots of homework,
TI (Josh)

Song of the Week: Sanctus Real "Forgiven"

Hey Y'all!

This week's song of the week is by Sanctus Real. The Song is "Forgiven."

The band's name means "True Holiness."  They are a Christian crossover band, much like Skillet.

This song has been at the top of my playlist for some time now , and it is so fun listen to.  The message is amazing!  All the issues, problems, screw-ups, sins, and foul ups that you or I have committed are gone.  This is the message of Christianity:  We are Redeemed and Forgiven.  I hope the message speaks to you as it has spoken to me: we are forgiven and the weight of who we were is lifted.  We are not who we were.  We were bought with a price and have life through him.  My favorite lines in this song are: "When I don’t measure up to much in this life, Oh, I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ."  Even when we mess up, we are still loved.  Nothing!  Let me say that again, NOTHING we ever do, can rip us from the arms of Christ.  Even on our worst day, we repent and are loved by the unyielding power of God.  Praise him from whom all blessings flow!  Without further ado, "Forgiven" by Sanctus Real.

Apologise and Blow it up. (Warning: My Reality check. Not for those who think that I am not sincere.)

Thousands of apologies go out to my readers.  I have been dealing with a lot of personal stuff and I needed a break.  I have been dealing with two main issues:  school and love.

The first issue is just a matter of money.  I have none and need a lot for school.  Thanks to this wonderful thing called May Term, I was not able to get a job this summer.  Therefore, I need to try and find a way to get some funds or I may not graduate and be a semester from graduating for the second time.  I am trying to find a loan that I am able to get.  But enough about that, I hate money.

UPDATE:  The money issue is taken care of!  Praise the Lord who provides in his timing!

I am a self-labeled hopeless romantic.  I have wished for love for so many years, and been disappointed so many times.  I have had friends tell me time and time again that I need to trust in God and his love.  And while this has been going on, I tell my friends "yes, I get it"  but in the back of my mind think "It is not what I want."  I am sick of being behind a mask when it comes to my personal life.  I am so scared to be rejected, it is hard to be my boring self.  I am not brave, I am not skilled, and I am not intelligent.  When I can't stand something, I send it into oblivion usually using C4.   Therefore, It is time to C4 my mask collection.  I am not who I say I am.  I am not who I think I am.  I love talking theology.  I love thinking theology.  But I hate practicing it.  Every convicting word that I write tonight rips another hole in a rotting, festering heart.  I have had to become jaded, even heartless to the point that I do not feel anything.  But that is not true.  I feel pain.  I feel anguish.  In fact, I feel it so much that I am well acquainted with it.  I feed on sorrow and drink my fill with tears.  Sadness seems to be the only thing I can feel.  I can put a smile on my face and pretend that everything will be okay.  But I know it will not.  The truth is, I am afraid.  I am afraid to be loved.

Love is a foreign concept to me.  My father's side of the family is known for incessantly picking on one another.  They would tease each other to the point of tears.  This, sadly, has passed into my family.  I used to be the one that was teasing, but now see no point to it and become the object of ridicule.  I have found it easy to be the martyr and take the pain, thinking that if I deal with it, no one else will have to.  It is easy for me to play the martyr, it is my natural state.  I know pity, but is pity part of love?  God takes pity on us and extends his love.  Do we as humans do the same?  How does this work?  People say that love is the warm fussy feeling that they get in their stomach.  But what happens when the feeling is gone?  Love does not fade, does it?  When God said he has loved us, it is always coupled with some kind of action.  But this action is not what we call "making love."  It is completely different.  It is a decision.  It is a decision that is coupled with action of protection and provision.  To put it simply, Love is a deep, shown commitment. But is this what love entails?  But it is a two way street, is it not?  Can you show love, and call it love,  without the reciprocation? 

The short answer is yes.  This is what I call "broken heart syndrome."  I have, twice in my life, committed myself to a woman who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with.  However, both times, I found that I was mistaken in either my decision or my actions and it lead to the destruction of the relationship.  The love that was given, was not given back, or not taken with understanding.  The reason why this is a syndrome is because the person that this happens to, in this example me, begins to believe that their lot in life is to be empty and alone.  Thus, a hopeless romantic.  The delusions of grandeur turn into a nightmare of my own design.  I can't help but screw up because I don't know what to do.  Hopelessness becomes the focus, instead of God.

I now understand Paul's thorn in the flesh.  Do not pity me.  And I know that there will be some that will say, "He is just playing the martyr card again."  I assure you, I am not writing this to do anything to you.  You have been on a little journey in my thoughts.  But I can tell you, this is not the extent of my thoughts.  I have been thinking about this for the past two weeks.  As this school year comes up, I do not know what God has in store for me, but I do know that he will teach me something major this year.  I am going to learn to trust in his sufficiency.  I have made some progress, but I am far from where I need to be.  I pray God shows me what love really is.  Humility included.

With Prayers and Many Tears,
TI

Writing Sample: Tutorial Paper 1: Review of Slaves, Women & Homosexuals by William J. Webb – “Right idea, Wrong Follow through”

The Following is a paper I wrote for my BTS tutorial class.  In class we review books of theological importance that we must take into account when we read and study theology.  Please enjoy and leave comments.  Practice makes perfect. :) Sort of...

"I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world." (Matt. 17: 14 -- 16) When these words were uttered by Christ, they were universally understood in the sense that we are not the same as the world.  However, we are in the world, and we are called to witness to the world.  As such, it puts us in direct context, and in direct conflict in this world.  How we practically face this conflict is a question that has been debated for millennia.  This question is the topic of Webb's book.  Webb attempts to create a universal hermeneutic in which to practically apply our biblical understanding in this world.  Yet he does not do this effectively.  Webb attempts to ask the correct questions with a reasonable answer.  Yet in his quest for the universal hermeneutic he is anything but consistent.

Webb describes his hermeneutical method as the historical -- movement hermeneutic.  This historical movement method is based in a "slippery slope" model.  Webb claims that our perspective needs to be such that it takes the full spectrum of the writer's original context, the writing itself, our current environment, and a deduced universal principle into account.   This concept seems to be fine, but it is not what the point of Scripture is.  Just extrapolating out what we see does not get us to Christ.  The problem with Webb’s hermeneutic is that it is not Christocentric.  If Scripture is christocentric, then our hermeneutic must be also.  Practical application is a must, but it should not dictate as our primary view of how Scripture relates to us. 

Web gives an example or a shortcut of his historical movement hermeneutic through this example leads me to reference is hermeneutic as the XYZ method, or "if this, then this."  His assumption in his hermeneutic is that all of Scripture is either progressive or regressive.  This perspective leads to the assumption that all of Scripture either wants us to be more or less progressive on any issue that is currently in the world.  Webb he even buys into this perspective by creating the false dichotomy between what he coins as a static hermeneutic and his own.  He fights against being stagnant to the point where he constantly is moving and his movement is baseless.  This moving for the sake of moving is detrimental to Webb's argument because he sets up a straw man to juxtapose his argument.  In addition, this pushes his conversation down what I have previously called a "slippery slope" model.  This model either gets bigger or smaller with time, but does not accurately represent the movements of human events.  While there may be fluctuations in progressiveness throughout human history, he does not accurately take into account all of the fluctuations in human thought.

Also, he misses the point when it comes to looking at different perspectives on hermeneutics.  He doesn't address, a Catholic hermeneutic, a Reformed hermeneutic, a Baptist hermeneutic, or even a Lutheran hermeneutic.  Web discusses to hermeneutics in very abstract terms, then tries to imply that these terms can be universally used as principles.

These principles, he claims are from Scripture.  However, his criteria demonstrate that it is not from a strictly biblical perspective, but instead a perspective in which Scripture has been used to fit a social and ethical framework.  Webb uses categories to compartmentalize his argument.  These categories shift, depending upon the weight he gives them.  Many of the social implications that Webb uses tend, for him, to be very persuasive.  While I agree context science and ethics need to be part of this type of the discussion, the question that truly needs to be asked is "what informs what."  Does the hermeneutical spiral begin in Scripture, or in our own ideas?  This question is a key reason why those who are Reformed, would not be able to agree with Webb's principal.

Webb throughout his book demonstrates time and again that he is not reformed.  In this way, he misses a key component of the reformed perspective, the understanding that Scripture interprets Scripture.  The reformed hermeneutic and perspective upon this is that Scripture is the inerrant word of God and is therefore a basis of all our decisions.  However, in his criterion, Webb makes it very clear that he does not share the same respect for Scripture.

Webb divides his biblical criteria into two major categories, cultural and transcultural.  The problem with such categories is who is authoritative in the decision to put something in a category.  Web tends to pull things out of context, thereby missing the principles lessons and meanings in those text he has declared culturally bound.  The problem with declaring something culturally bound.  Is that it is instantly discounted as authoritative.  If it is culturally bound, then it cannot be applied to a different culture in a different part of the world with different rules and different people.  Where then does the universal principle lie?  If Scripture is authoritative, then the inspiration of Scripture must dictate that all of Scripture is profitable and utilize in the formation of universal principles and authoritative teachings.

He claims early on in his book to be committed to the authority of Scripture.  Yet this appears to be a ruse.  For later on in his book, he claims that certain passages are not applicable to today's culture.  Within this perspective, he claims that some parts of Scripture and understandings of Scripture are either non-persuasive were inconclusive.  The key piece, he claims that his inconclusive is his reading of the Old Testament.  His perspective on the Old Testament gives us a glimpse into the divide that separates the Old and the New in his mind.  This separation is dangerous because it gives an assumption of the discontinuity between the Old Testament and the New Testament to the reader.

Through this discontinuity, he tends however to establish some sort of a universal principle using Old Testament texts.  He does this by claiming that a neutral issue in society today can inform all other issues, if we use the same principle that works with that issue.  Webb's neutral issue is slavery.

Webb uses the institution of slavery, with biblical perspectives and modern understandings to somehow come up with a universal principle in which everything will work out for good in his mind.  He uses that incline or decline with slavery, and attempts to apply it to women and homosexuals.  This is a gray and assumption that we as Christians cannot take to heart.  The reformed perspective of Scripture interpreting Scripture is such that a man-made rule cannot intervene to the point of refuting Scripture.  However, web uses his hermeneutic to proof text and twist the message of Scripture to his own ideological misgivings.  The assumption of neutral issues informing all others is not a universal principle or hermeneutic as Webb would claim it to be.  His methodology in trying to prove it falls apart at his premises, his assumptions, and in his criteria.  The gaps in logic are inexcusable.  And as such, his hermeneutic falters when standing up to critical review.

The final thing that comes into question, is the weight in which he balances intra-and extra biblical criteria.  To clarify what I said earlier, Web claims to have a high view of Scripture. However, does not demonstrate that throughout the book.  Webb in his book subjugates Scripture to mental exercises in order to persuade with his hermeneutic.  If we truly believe in the authority of Scripture, as outlined in First Timothy 3, then we must understand that Scripture is inspired to where the word of man must be continually subjugated to the will of God.  The only way in which we understand the mind of our heavenly father and his will is through his word spoken to us through his son Jesus Christ in the words of Scripture.

To conclude, let me add that while I do not agree with Webb's universal principle or cultural hermeneutic, he does ask the right questions.  The questions of what still applies and how we practically live out Scripture today are something that every Christian should be concerned with.  We are indeed in the world, but we do not buy in to the problems of this world.  We are unique because we were bought with a price.  We are unique because we are our Fathers'.  As such our relationship to this world impacts the relationship we have to him.  The general and special revelations of God must be heard in our daily lives. The general revelation speaks when we open our eyes and open our ears to praise the creator in a 100 were, and the special revelation, to take precedence in our daily lives.  This should drive our hermeneutic.  This is what we mean when we say Scripture interprets Scripture.

Song of the Week: The Fray "You Found Me"

Hi to all my people in the interwebs!

This week's installment is focused on the song "You Found Me" by The Fray.  I love the music video because I am enamored with my home city of Chicago, and that is where it was filmed.  Another reason I like this song is because of the double meanings about both relationships and God.

The song is from the perspective of a person that was brought to God.  The point is not that the person found God, but that God brought the person to himself.  He was waiting and working to bring the person to him.  And it takes some bad circumstances to get things to drive the person to God.  The relationship fails, the man is left on the floor, and life is figuratively going down the crapper.  This leads the man to turn to the only solid thing left in life, God.    God looks like he has only been waiting, but he has actually been working all along.  Also, notice the name of the roads that God is standing on the corner of, 1st and Amistad.

Amistad is the Spanish word for freedom.  When the man comes to God, it is a liberating experience.  Freedom from the sorrow that encompasses his life is what he gains from finally coming to God.  I hope you enjoy this song and the video as much as I do.  Without further ado, here is "You Found Me" by The Fray.