Song of the Week: "Crush" by David Archuleta

Hello and Happy Thanksgiving to all my friends out there!

I am on Thanksgiving break which means I have some more time to put a song or two on the blog.

This week's installment is a song by an American Idol hopeful, David Archuleta. In season 7 he finished as runner up.  This song climbed as high as number 2 on the charts and has sold almost a million copies of his self titled, debut album.  I have had this song on a playlist for some time now and it keeps getting stuck in my head.  Yes, I am still on my (slightly depressed) bent.  I have heard some not so good news about my great-grandma, so that just compounds on my already mental and emotional stress.  But Thanksgiving football always helps that, which it did on Wednesday night.  However, those who know me, know that I do push too hard sometimes and I did it again.  So I am a little banged up, but it is definitely worth the pain for the next couple of days.

Anywho, I have had a particular someone on my mind over the past couple of weeks and I wish I could talk to her about it, but she keeps giving me mixed signals and I am about as daft as it comes to relationships.  So, with that in mind I thought this song is slightly appropriate.

These types of songs infuriate me because of their rose colored look at love.  REAL LIFE DOES NOT WORK THIS WAY!!!!!  I am truly sick of song like this that give an unrealistic picture of love.  Love is hard work.  As I have said in a earlier post, love is a commitment followed by actions that are conducive to the support of that decision.  When a person wants out, they make a conscious decision that the other person, and their relationship with them is not worth the time and effort put into them.  Sorry, rant over.  

On the other hand, I am a hopeless romantic and wish life worked this way. (Yes, I truly am a paradox.) I love the whole love story thing. (Think Taylor Swift's "Love Story.")  Ya, I read Shakespeare, I wish it worked that way, and I am proud of it.  But my realistic side is eating me up right now.   Well, I have babbled enough.  Here is "Crush" by David Archuleta.

Song of the Week: "Let it Rain" by David Nail

Hi everyone,

Sorry for being so long between posts.  I have been very busy with school, work, and all the other stuff I do around here.  This week's song is David Nail's "Let it Rain."

This song is an amazing confession of a man who cheats on his wife and realizes his sin.  He not only feels guilty, but confesses to his wife and shows willingness to accept any punishment given to him.  He is heartbroken to the point where he confesses, "Let it hurt, even more than I deserve."  He realizes the love he had, and the trifle he replaced it with.

I do not condone his action, but I can say that this song is a genuine refection of humanity.  We live in a fallen world and it is not an easy thing to live with.  I have felt this pain before.  Not to the same extent. (I am not married, currently have no girlfriend, and have never cheated on anyone.) But, I know what it is like to tell the person you love that you screwed up.  You put yourself at their mercy and pray that they forgive you.  I have seen both the good and the bad that can come from this type of confession. (I wish I had seen more of the good than the bad.)  This is why I must emphasize forgiveness as much as I can.  (Theologian coming out)  Christ has shown us forgiveness, why must we not do the same?  Do we have an excuse?  No.  (Look at the book of Hosea if you want a deeper picture.)   This betrayal is at the heart of our corruption as human beings.  His forgiveness should lead to our forgiveness.  Here is David Nail's "Let it Rain."

WARNING:  The images are slightly suggestive and should not be viewed by anyone who can't deal with the sexual nature of this song.

Some people have asked why I pick the songs I do.

To tell the truth, It really depends on my mood, and if I think the song is catchy.  This song comes from my current time of sickness, and heartbroken-ness. No, I did not break up with anyone.  No, I am not in a relationship.  I am, however, feeling lonely and would like to ask a woman out, but I know that she has no intention of being attracted to me.  (It's complicated)  There are other reasons, but these are the major ones that have lead me to listen to sappy love songs and the sorrowful hope of unrequited love.

Promising to post next week after my trip to San Francisco,

TI

Song of the Week? Month?...Whatever :P - Straight No Chaser

Hi to everyone in the interwebs!  lol

Just Kidding, I'm not that crazy, yet.  However, by the end of these next two weeks I may just be.  I have 4 papers, a fundraising trip to the middle of California, and an entire week of play practice capping off with 2 performances at the end of next week.

Yep, busy as ever.  So, I thought I would give you some more music for you listening pleasure:  Straight No Chaser!

I love these guys!  They are an a capella  singing group from Indiana.  They met in college and now sing professionally.  They sing in 5 to 10 part harmony.  They have amazing voices and do some great covers of songs.  So, without further ado: Straight No Chaser!  (Here is a mix of what they have been doing including their title song, and their latest work "Like a Prayer")

With eyes like lead and a lot of reading to do,
TI

Song of the Week: OneRepublic "Secrets"

Hi Everyone!

This Week's installment of music comes from the band OneRepublic.  The song "Secrets" was the key song for the Disney movie, "The Sorcerer's Apprentice."  It gained huge popularity through it's use during the movie being the uniting song for the main couple in the movie.  Honestly, I just think it's a cool song.  The lines of the Chorus, the thing the songwriter hits on time and again are

Tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
I'm sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time
Don't need another perfect lie
Don't care if critics ever jump in line
I'm Gonna give all my secrets away

He seems to have contradictory statements, but see that his Chorus is not a plea for patching this over as much as it is a call for honesty.  He doesn't care if he is lambasted for what he says, he just wants to speak the truth and break down the wall between him and the woman he is singing to. 

This relationship was founded with no purpose.  Now he is attempting to ask the questions that will give a purpose to their relationship.  He is taking off the masks and revealing who he truly is, a sinful human being.  Relationships don't grow from being fake with one another.  They grow from being honest and communicating that honesty openly.  Many of the relationships I had in the past both I and my former significant other would either put on masks or change to accommodate the other person.  I never wanted that, but it happens anyway.  We think, "S/He will like me better if I do/am like (insert blank)."  Instead of being with the person you fell in love with, you are now with a person that has put up a shell.  It is only through the acceptance of the true human underneath, can we ever truly love one another.

To put it simply:  Be yourself.  Living a lie does nothing but cause tears.


Without further ado: "Secrets" by One Republic

1 foot, 2 feet,... how many more to go? None.

Open mouth, insert foot.  It seems to a common saying around me these days.  My words get me into trouble.  Even when I think about what I say, it seems that my tone is such that they are taken wrong, or if it is written, that it is instantly a bad thing.  I can't seem to get two words out without one of them coming back to bite me in the bum.  Earlier this year I had a relationship end.  It was very hard for me because I was very attached to her.  Even to this day I think she has had a lasting impact.  We decided that we would try to stay friends because we still loved hanging out with one another and could still benefit from being friends.

Well, I guess this changed.  A couple of days ago I posted something that took me a long time to come to grips with.  I did some deep soul searching and wrote about what I found.  Sadly, all was not well received.  My ex decided that my wording was very offensive and decided to let me know about it.  I hope that my words have not ruined a friendship that was very beneficial. 

To this end I have decided to limit my postings on my blog.  I will no longer be posting anything personal, and you will probably not be seeing a rant on here for a long time.  I will continue to post songs and I will try to post writings from time to time.  If this does not go well, or I simply do not have time, I may be shutting down the blog for good.  Sadly this pushes my blog into a realm of disconnectedness and coldness that I would have rather avoided. 

It is so hard these days to say what you think and not get hurt for it.  I don't have a close friend that I can tell all these things to.  Many of my friends are connected with the people that are threatening me.  So far I have received threats of bodily harm, economic harm, mental repercussions, and even a few death threats.  Words have power.  I just wish people would talk instead of having knee-jerk reactions to everything that is said.

In short, I am sorry if anything I have said is offensive to any of my readers.  I never meant for it to be taken that way. I only hope that things can be repaired. 

With a heavy heart and lots of homework,
TI (Josh)

Song of the Week: Sanctus Real "Forgiven"

Hey Y'all!

This week's song of the week is by Sanctus Real. The Song is "Forgiven."

The band's name means "True Holiness."  They are a Christian crossover band, much like Skillet.

This song has been at the top of my playlist for some time now , and it is so fun listen to.  The message is amazing!  All the issues, problems, screw-ups, sins, and foul ups that you or I have committed are gone.  This is the message of Christianity:  We are Redeemed and Forgiven.  I hope the message speaks to you as it has spoken to me: we are forgiven and the weight of who we were is lifted.  We are not who we were.  We were bought with a price and have life through him.  My favorite lines in this song are: "When I don’t measure up to much in this life, Oh, I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ."  Even when we mess up, we are still loved.  Nothing!  Let me say that again, NOTHING we ever do, can rip us from the arms of Christ.  Even on our worst day, we repent and are loved by the unyielding power of God.  Praise him from whom all blessings flow!  Without further ado, "Forgiven" by Sanctus Real.

Apologise and Blow it up. (Warning: My Reality check. Not for those who think that I am not sincere.)

Thousands of apologies go out to my readers.  I have been dealing with a lot of personal stuff and I needed a break.  I have been dealing with two main issues:  school and love.

The first issue is just a matter of money.  I have none and need a lot for school.  Thanks to this wonderful thing called May Term, I was not able to get a job this summer.  Therefore, I need to try and find a way to get some funds or I may not graduate and be a semester from graduating for the second time.  I am trying to find a loan that I am able to get.  But enough about that, I hate money.

UPDATE:  The money issue is taken care of!  Praise the Lord who provides in his timing!

I am a self-labeled hopeless romantic.  I have wished for love for so many years, and been disappointed so many times.  I have had friends tell me time and time again that I need to trust in God and his love.  And while this has been going on, I tell my friends "yes, I get it"  but in the back of my mind think "It is not what I want."  I am sick of being behind a mask when it comes to my personal life.  I am so scared to be rejected, it is hard to be my boring self.  I am not brave, I am not skilled, and I am not intelligent.  When I can't stand something, I send it into oblivion usually using C4.   Therefore, It is time to C4 my mask collection.  I am not who I say I am.  I am not who I think I am.  I love talking theology.  I love thinking theology.  But I hate practicing it.  Every convicting word that I write tonight rips another hole in a rotting, festering heart.  I have had to become jaded, even heartless to the point that I do not feel anything.  But that is not true.  I feel pain.  I feel anguish.  In fact, I feel it so much that I am well acquainted with it.  I feed on sorrow and drink my fill with tears.  Sadness seems to be the only thing I can feel.  I can put a smile on my face and pretend that everything will be okay.  But I know it will not.  The truth is, I am afraid.  I am afraid to be loved.

Love is a foreign concept to me.  My father's side of the family is known for incessantly picking on one another.  They would tease each other to the point of tears.  This, sadly, has passed into my family.  I used to be the one that was teasing, but now see no point to it and become the object of ridicule.  I have found it easy to be the martyr and take the pain, thinking that if I deal with it, no one else will have to.  It is easy for me to play the martyr, it is my natural state.  I know pity, but is pity part of love?  God takes pity on us and extends his love.  Do we as humans do the same?  How does this work?  People say that love is the warm fussy feeling that they get in their stomach.  But what happens when the feeling is gone?  Love does not fade, does it?  When God said he has loved us, it is always coupled with some kind of action.  But this action is not what we call "making love."  It is completely different.  It is a decision.  It is a decision that is coupled with action of protection and provision.  To put it simply, Love is a deep, shown commitment. But is this what love entails?  But it is a two way street, is it not?  Can you show love, and call it love,  without the reciprocation? 

The short answer is yes.  This is what I call "broken heart syndrome."  I have, twice in my life, committed myself to a woman who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with.  However, both times, I found that I was mistaken in either my decision or my actions and it lead to the destruction of the relationship.  The love that was given, was not given back, or not taken with understanding.  The reason why this is a syndrome is because the person that this happens to, in this example me, begins to believe that their lot in life is to be empty and alone.  Thus, a hopeless romantic.  The delusions of grandeur turn into a nightmare of my own design.  I can't help but screw up because I don't know what to do.  Hopelessness becomes the focus, instead of God.

I now understand Paul's thorn in the flesh.  Do not pity me.  And I know that there will be some that will say, "He is just playing the martyr card again."  I assure you, I am not writing this to do anything to you.  You have been on a little journey in my thoughts.  But I can tell you, this is not the extent of my thoughts.  I have been thinking about this for the past two weeks.  As this school year comes up, I do not know what God has in store for me, but I do know that he will teach me something major this year.  I am going to learn to trust in his sufficiency.  I have made some progress, but I am far from where I need to be.  I pray God shows me what love really is.  Humility included.

With Prayers and Many Tears,
TI